Wednesday, January 21, 2009

To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship...


In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same again. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.


There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to the one you love. But some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.


Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.


As you think so shall you be! Since you cannot physically experience another person, you can only experience them in your mind. Conclusion: All of the other people in your life are simply thoughts in your mind. Not physical beings to you, but thoughts. Your relationships are all in how you think about the other people of your life. Your experience of all those people is only in your mind. Your feelings about your lovers come from your thoughts. For example, they may in fact behave in ways that you find offensive. However, your relationship to them when they behave offensively is not determined by their behavior, it is determined only by how you choose to relate to that behavior. Their actions are theirs, you cannot own them, you cannot be them, you can only process them in your mind. Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don't over-analyze your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.


Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude. The closer and more confidential our relationship with someone, the less we are entitled to ask about what we are not voluntarily told.

20 comments:

Onthewingsofadream said...

relationships are sooo simple and yet soooo very complex ...
i sometie think that i am a relationship counseler ...with all my frends coming up for an advice ....still myself have not been able to understand my relationships ...

well written ...

VJ Sophie said...

Very true, simple yet complex...

Thanx Onthewingsofadream!

Ashley said...

Very Well Written Sophie,
I beleiving in same things as you written, but when its come to our own life high expection beat us.

Som said...

Sophie, I don't know what inspired you to write this post but there is a definite echo of something, I felt it; your take on relationship is about space ... are you an aquarian ?

I really liked the first paragraph. I love the concept of meeting someone for a very short duration of time, in which they leave an indelible mark on our heart.

I really loved the post ... :)

VJ Sophie said...

Thanx Ashley for poppin in...

True, I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

&

You know, The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations.

Another Kiran In NYC said...

When in doubt about a relationship, have a drink! It dosent seem so bad afterwards and the person you are feeling bad about, looks better too.

Hey we all like good looking people... hehehehe

Works everytime!

Abdul Sami said...

great post.. .deeply written !

and very true!

VJ Sophie said...

Som _ I am Libra.. Yup for me space and comfortness are imp in any relation..

I have met many diff kind of people in ma life, some of them were simply wonderful,& they will stay with me in ma memory forever...

Another kiran in NYC _ Welcome on board..

Yup, Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Sami _ Thanx buddy!

Som said...

Oh .. yeah even Libras are said to be independent types :) ...

VJ Sophie said...

Libras, Simply brilliant...!! ;)

Btw what sign you are...???

Som said...

I have a friend who is a libra .. and yes they are interesting ...

I was born on the cusp of Aquarius and Pisces .. but I feel I am more Aquarius .. :)

Daanish said...

another "paralysis by analysis" example! Very well presented !!

VJ Sophie said...

Thanx Daanish... That was brilliant title...!!

Aparna said...

u have got interesting and insightful take on relationship

holly bow to such a perspective

it is so true that relatioships are like sand. Freedom and space are really important.
Trust is important for an intact relationship too.

cheers ~

VJ Sophie said...

Yup, Without trust there is nothing.

Thanx and welcome Aparna... :)

Vijayshryaln said...

"Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand"
Love it yaar..... well binded words abt relationships....

Vijayshryaln said...

"Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand"
Love ya words yaar....
well written abt relationships...

VJ Sophie said...

Thanx Vijayshryaln !!! :)

Gautam Anand said...

wonderful to say the least..
ur thoughts seemed like poetry in motion..
the first para was.. awesome..

VJ Sophie said...

Gautam Anand _ poetry in motion.. hmmm!! :)