Different ways to phone in a Pizza order....

• Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

• Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

• Ask what the order taker is wearing.

• Change your accent every three seconds.

• Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

• Imitate the order taker's voice.

• Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

• Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

• Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

• Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

• When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

That fleeting moment..

The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.

A brilliant quote by Roy Croft

“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.”

Erase & Rewind...

Hey, what did you hear me say

you know the difference it makes
what did you hear me say

Yes, I said it's fine before
I don't think so no more
I said it's fine before
I've changed my mind
I take it back

Erase and rewind
'cause I've been changing my mind
I've changed my mind

So where did you see me go
it's not the right way, you know
where did you see me go
No, it's not that I don't know
I just don't want it to grow
It's not that I don't know
I've changed my mind
I take it back

Aaha Life!

“Every man who possibly can should force himself to a holiday of a full month in a year, whether he feels like taking it or not.”

Baby testing.. 1, 2, 3

Before few days I was talking to my sis,

I: So, what's up? What that little cheeky monkey is doing? (I was asking about my cute little really naughty 22 months old niece)

Sis: I have just taught her yesterday where we live. Now she can tell the address of our home.

I: Oh, that's cool, now you should loose her somewhere, so that you can test whether its working or not. Just forget to bring her back from the park.

Sis: Ya, that's cool idea. I will try it.

A nice scrap from friend..

3 facts :

there is always little truth behind ' just kidding'...
little knowledge behind every 'i don't know',...
emotion behind every ' i don't care'......

Grand Pa

Paul : Hi Trouble
I : Hi, Paul. Who are these girls with you?
Paul : My daughters, that’s younger one Stacy & older one Jessica and grandchild inside.
I : I didn’t know Paul you are that old!
Jez: ohhuhu, that’s not nice.
Paul : She always do this to me.
I : Me? Oh common Paul, I am always nice to you. Hehe
Paul : Ya ya

After finish dealing with his thousands of parcels,

Paul : So, what’s the damage?
I : £70
Paul : What exactly £70?
I : No, its actually £61.29p
Paul : Then why you are overcharging me?
I : I thought lets round up the figure. Hehe

And he took out his bag full of change,

I : Oh God, you again been to bins?
Paul : Oye, what’s your problem?
I : Every time you pay me with this change. I can’t bother to count every time.
Paul : Ok, then I don’t pay you.
I : Well, ok I will charge service charges than.
Paul : Alright, anyways you always charge me that, don’t you?
I : Oh ye? Than there will be some extra service charges this time.

After that day, whenever Paul came to work, I never missed opportunity to ask him, great grand father yet?
Paul: Grandfather.
I : Paul, grandfather is too young for you, you look like great grand pa.
Paul : Shut up.

No Action Replays!

It was India v/s England, last year in the UK, very first time in my life I was watching cricket match live on the ground. Many Indians like me came to cheer up India. Specially people from Wembly, oh God, they were so noisy, were playing some kind of noisy instrument, making funny noises, but it was fun the way they were cheering up India. England supporters were bit annoyed with this. When I entered in the stadium it was raining but thank God it didn't rained lot and not for long.

You know what I was waiting for action reply, when I missed one of deliveries. Strange na, but as I am so used to watch action reply on telly that I didn't realized for few seconds that it not gonna happen on the ground.

It was exciting watching Sachin, Dravid and specially cute Yuvraaj playing in front of me. I wasn't much interested in other players like Ganguly, Ramesh etc. Dravid and some other players looks same also Ravi Shashti, where as Ramesh looks more darker, Sachin sweet and Yuvraaj more cuter, when you see them in reality.

Test Match was draw. It was more fun on Sunday than on Friday as crowd was bigger.

I did suffered little bit so far as food was concerned, as most of things were non-veg items. Even chips were so bad. I was being stopped by security guard when I was going to throw my chips,

Security person: Not good?
I : Nop
Security person: Poor you.
I : :(
Security person: My sausages are really nice.
I: Don't push it, I am gonna split my drink on your nice sausages.
Security person: Go back to your sit, you are missing nice shots.
I: That's what I was doing, you stopped me.
Security person: Sorry, young lady.

I: Move from my way, old man. ;)

Security person: You know, you are rude girl.
I: I know, now do you duty and I go and sit comfortably and enjoy watching match. hehe
Security person: Alright it was nice meeting you.
I: Me too. Adios

And recently on Saturday after long time I played cricket with Sid at his farm, it was so much fun, but unfortunately we couldn't played for long as I managed to made ball commit suicide. I mean to say ball is still swimming in the water well.

I used to love cricket but now I don't enjoy watching cricket on telly.

Pillow Fight

A pillow fight is a common game mostly played by young children (but can also occur with teens and adults) in which they engage in mock physical conflict, utilizing pillows as weapons.

A well-known picture of The Beatles having a pillow fight in their hotel room on the evening of January 16, 1964, at the Hotel George V in Paris snapped by Harry Benson.

My last pillow fight:

Place : Mumbai
Date : 20th June, 2008
Warriors : Me, Bro and our 2 sweet nieces
Reasons : We all were so busy doing nothing and fed up of looking at each others' faces, tickling, teasing each other, making faces, slapping each other without no reason.
Injured victims : Head of an elephant without body, Statue of Stuart little, Teddy who was busy hugging his gf and day dreaming.
Victims who lost their lives : A mosquito who was flying behind his gf, An ant who was busy mucking around muss de chocolate, A fly who got lost to her way back to home from night club.
Side effects : We all had serious stomach ache as the result of laughing which was happened due to pillow fight. And later on we all got admitted in Thane Mental Hospital as we all were laughing like a maniac.

On April 17, 2005 students from the University at Albany in Albany, New York set and currently holds the record for the world's largest pillow fight with 3,648 participants, observed by Guinness Records officials. I just watched "NYC Pillow Fight 2008" video and I think I would love to participate in such fights in future which I will, that's for sure.

Have a look,

NYC Pillow Fight 2008

No Smoking!

It was 1.55 pm Helen just entered in the shop and started looking for things she wanted to buy,

Helen : Where is the friend birthday cards?
I : Helen, keep going straight and hit the wall. he he
Helen : Thanx, I will find them.
I : Your welcome.

After few seconds,
Helen : Do you do the stickers which you can put on gifts?
I : Nop, but we do "No Smoking" stickers Helen.
Helen : Ye that's good idea and I think person will be happy to see No Smoking sticker on his gift.
I : Of course Helen. There is no doubt about it. he he I think you can get it from "Birthdays"!

A day with Neel

After almost 6 years I was meeting Neel on that day, when I last met him in India he was a little boy, well he is still today for me. He was playing games on his lappy. I was sitting on the next sofa.
I : Hi, Neel.
Neel : Hi!
I : Hey, Neel do you know what my name is?
Neel : No!
I : I don't know my name either.
Neel : What? you, don't know your name?! You should know your name.
I : well, Neel I have forgotten my name.
Neel : Alright, ask your mom.
I : Neel, my mom lives in India. How do I ask her?
Neel : OK, buy a ticket, sit in the plane, go to India and ask your mom your name.
I : But, I don't have money to buy ticket.
Neel : OK, ask my dad, he got money.
I : Hey, I got another plan, I can have your name, Neel. Can't I?
Neel : No, you can't have my name.
I : Why, I can't have your name, what's the problem?
Neel : Because, it's my name.
I: So what?
Neel : You can't have my name and anyways it's boy's name.
I : OK, so can I play with you?
Neel : Yup, which game you wants to play?
I : Go for any racing game, OK I think let's play "Age of speed"
Neel : OK, what's your age?
I : Why on earth you are asking my age?
Neel : Because only people over 18 can play this game.
I : Then why you are playing this game?
Neel : Because I always play this game.
I : OK!

Then we played for a while, I was doing better than him in the game although I was playing that game for first time and Neel was playing that game for a long time,so I teased him lot which obviously he didn't like. After chatting and playing for hours and hours, he told me, you are like a boy.

I: Why you think so?
Neel : You like racing games, you drive fast and you also like spider man. Girls doesn't like such things.
I : Alright, so tell me about your girl friends.
Neel : I don't like girls because they like barbie dolls.
I : Fair enough.

A Conversation

One day at work I was doing something and Alex came in for banking.
Alex : Hi, trouble. (As I do wind up people a lot, I am also known as Trouble.)
I : Hiya!
Alex : See you know what your name is.
I : Yup I do, ha ha, hey but I don't know what your name is? (I really didn't knew his name until that day, though I did knew him from almost 1 and half year, I guess.)
Alex : Hey, there is nothing in name.
I : Is it Bin Laden?
Alex : hey how did you know?
I : Just wild guess.
Alex : Ya, but keep it short. Call me Bin. alright?
I : why, what's wrong with Laden?
Alex : For safety reasons.
I : Aha!
And I started counting his money which he brought for banking. As usual money was spot on same as he had written on chit, I did complained to him that at least sometimes he can count less than actual amount, so that I can keep some.
Alex: Ya I know its horrible thing but I can't do anything, I am just perfect. Now common put the money on my card.
I : It would help if you can give your card first. Then I swiped his card and said, hey its not working, unfortunately I got to keep your money.
Alex : Alright, consider it as your wages.
I : What my wages? only £ 879.25p for a week? Then better you start working hard from now onwards.
Alex : Alright, And he just smiled and told me his name is Alex.
I : Nice name.

There's a way to do it better—find it.

I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened of old ones. The essential part of creativity is not being afraid to fail. If you want to make enemies, try to change something. Anyone can look for fashion in a boutique or history in a museum. The creative explorer looks for history in a hardware store and fashion in an airport. If you do not the expect the unexpected you will not find it, for it is not to be reached by search or trail. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. The world is but a canvas to our imaginations. Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.

Some men look at things the way they are and ask why?I dream of things that are not and ask why not? To be creative you have to contribute something different from what you've done before. Your results need not be original to the world; few results truly meet that criterion. In fact, most results are built on the work of others.

Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart. Without the playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of imagination is incalculable.

The Road where I would like to drive...

Davos to Stelvio via Bormio

Heading south from Davos, Switzerland to Stelvio, Italy, what appears to be a driving enthusiasts heaven, the kind of road that brings everything about a car alive - miles of deserted road with breathtaking views, unending number of curves that would test every aspect of the car - steering, power, grip, brakes & handling. Not to forget a few tunnels for those in the mood for some tunnel blasting.

My prayer

Dear Lord,

So far today, I'm doing all right.

I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, cursed or eaten any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit card.

But I will be getting out of bed in a minute, and I think that I will really need your help then.

And Lord, if you can't make me a better girl, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am!

“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.”

Tree houses evoke deep, sometimes strange, emotions. I always wonder how it would be like to live on treetops? A house on the ground is just a house. But a house in the trees? It might be the Tarzan's ingenious jungle tree house or might be the comfortable hollow tree house of Winnie the Pooh's friend Owl.

I would love to experience how it feels living in the tree house in rain forest which of course will be equipped with all facilities such as beds, carpeted verandas, bathrooms with flushable toilets, washbasins with running water and shower. If there is also a sit-out where I can relax in the lap of nature it would be cherry on the cake.

With no TV, music system and other electronic devices to contribute to cacophony, the evenings and nights will be quiet and in total contrast to the urban chaos but it would be great. Living with the birds on treetops, I think this is the closest one can get to nature. In the tree house, I can get rocked by the wind playing in the trees and can sleep like a baby. And if its raining it would be lovely. The most exciting part will be I think the early morning trek to the forest on foot, hopefully on my way I can meet pooh, tigger, rabbit, pig lit, Tarzan or any of gummy bears.

Adventure is a path. Real adventure - self-determined, self-motivated, often risky - forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind - and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.

hmmm

I can resist everything except temptation.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

I never interrupt my enemy when he is making a mistake.

I am not young enough to know everything, that's why I don't know everything.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

For me it's kind of fun to do the impossible.

If I can't get rid of the skeleton in my closet, I teach it to dance.

If everything seems under control (that's what I am feeling these days eeeeee), you're just not going fast enough.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy, I bet you will agree with me on this .

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else doing it wrong, without comment.

Buttons . . . check. Dials . . . check. Switches . . . check. Little colored lights . . . check.

WHY I WANT TO BE A PILOT

There is an art . . . to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

I want to be a pilot because it's a fun job and easy to do. That's why there are so many pilots flying around these days.

Pilots don't need much school. They just have to learn to read numbers so they can read their instruments.

Probably a road map, too.

The salary pilots make is another thing I like. They make more money than they know what to do with. This is because most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots don't because they know how easy it is.

The three worst things to hear in the cockpit which I don't want to:

The second officer says, "Oh shit!"
The first officer says, "I have an idea!"
The captain say, "Hey, watch this!"

And I won't do joke with Controller Because Once Pilot asking permission to land said, "Guess who?"Controller switches the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"
So, I think its little bit dangerous.

The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. So when I will fly, I will cut the odds and will take a bomb.

Life

You know, it's a long world. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you. There must be more to life than having everything. All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed. The world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. Life is a zoo in a jungle, Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.

My dream car Murcielago LP640 Roadster, why? its simply gorgeous

Things I always wonder about

Can you daydream at night?

How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?

If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

Do you yawn in your sleep?

My snapshot

I have re-invented myself many times during this lifetime. This is because I have had several near-death experiences which changed me. One of them was, I traveled in the burning TVR which blew up in front of my eyes, fortunately I was out by that time it happened.

My inner child is alive and well and playful.

I think postal stamps will look cool if they put brad or tom 's photo on them.

My portraits are more about me than they are about the people I photograph.

There are few things in life which drives me insane, won't tell you what they are.

I like the kids if they're properly cooked, its fun to play and to talk with them.

I feel best when I’m wearing black clothes.

Photography is one of my passions.

I am big Chelsea supporter.

I met a lot of people in Britain. I even encountered myself.

I love falling asleep to music.

I’ve been a TV & Internet addict most of my life.

I am very good at dealing with invasions of personal space.

I think it is legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as you are following the direction of the traffic.

Making people laugh and winding them up brings me joy.

I wanna try some water sports. And bungee jumping as well.

If I could, I would travel constantly.

I like my sugar with coffee and cream.

I love snow, rain even more.

I want to feel again few things in life.

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong.

I have learned that if you want to make it bad enough, no matter how bad it is, you can make it.

I love the feeling when you are with someone that you truly like.

Black is my favorite color, today.

I am a light eater.

I love my eyes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

I’ve never been arrested, even after telling policeman that I am a naughty girl.

I like to drive fast cars.

I don’t wear a lot of makeup.

I love deadlines, especially the whooshing sound they make as they go by.

I have seen and experienced a lot in my life. It feels as if I have already lived multiple lives.

I think whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.

If I act crazy all my life, they'll never be able to commit me.

I wear a size 6 shoe.

I look and sound much younger than I am.

My eyes are Brown.

I'm at a stage in my life where I'm having a hard time caring about things. Fortunately, I don't care.

I don't break the rules. I merely test their elasticity.

I don’t tell many people that I went for holiday on Mars last year.

While I'm fully aware that money can't buy happiness, I wouldn't mind being known as that melancholy gal who drives the red Lamborghini Reventón.

I'm an angel! honest! The horns are just there to hold up the halo.

I live life which I wants to live.

Next month there can't be any crisis. My schedule is full already.

I am lucky.

There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good.